CHOPSTICKS

KATY PERRY

KARATE KID

HARRISON FORD

ADELE

I met him at a party and he told me how to drive him home
He said he liked to do it backwards
I said, "That's just fine with me,
That way we can fuck and watch TV."

It was four a.m. and the light was gray, like it always is in paperbacks
He asked if I liked playing jacks
I told him that I was good to sixes
But all hell broke loose after that

I told him that I knew Julia Roberts when I was twelve at summer camp
We didn't say anything after that
I dropped him off and I drove on home
'Cause secretly I'm timid

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