"Quand un salon littéraire devient un boudoir pour dames"
13 Novembre 2014
| Star: I am the image maker. I am the magic Maker. I can turn the most ordinary Man in the world into a star. to prove My point I am going to find the most Mundane little man and turn him into Celebrity. hmm! this looks like a Suitably uninteresting house. I wonder If there's anybody here with enough Star quality? He presses the doorbell. Star: Hello. what's your name? Wife: Andrea. Star: Oh, that's a nice name. what's your Husband's name? Wife: Norman. Star: His name's norman. that sounds Ordinary enough. I would like you to Join in a unique experiment with me. I am going to take norman's place for A few days. I 'm going to research his Ordinary dull little existence. Wife: Oh you can't come in now! the place Is in a terrible mess! Star: That doesn't matter. I want you to act Normally. I want you to treat me as if i Were norman. I am going to sacrifice My normal flamboyant life style and Become ordinary, boring little norman For a few days. Ordinary people It's like another world, being here with you, It's quite a trip for me, so this is reality. I'm studying every movement, I'm trying to learn the part, Now I want you to be natural, just relax and be as you are, 'cos it's all for art, I want to observe the ordinary people Tomorrow I shall become norman, I shall go to his office, Mix with his workmates. And if they ask any questions I shall say I'm doing research for one of my songs. Nomand and I are changing places And I'm going to make him a star, So I'm throwing away my stage suit and I'm packing away my guitar, For the sake of art I'm gonna mix with the ordinary people. Star: God these pyjamas are awful! Wife: Awful? well all I can say is my norman wears them every night. Star: Alright, no sacrifice is too great for art! The things I've done for music, The things I've done for art. So I'll make these sacrifices and I'll take it like a star For the sake of art I will mix with the ordinary people. Star: You'd better come to bed darling. Wife: Coming! you'll never get up for work in the morning. I'm making observations, and character simulations. I'll mix with his friends and relations, And he'll be a part of me. Chorus He's changing places with norman, To get background for his songs. I'm immortalising his life And I'll even sleep with his wife, For the sake of art I'll go to bed like the ordinary people. Turn out the light. Turn out the light. The star exchanges his silver stage Suit for norman's pin stripe suit, Umbrella and briefcase. he forsakes His customary brandy and cigars and Settles for a cup of hot chocolate before Going to bed. |
| Rush Hour Blues | |
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| He gets up early about seven o'clock, The alarm goes off and then the house starts to rock. In and out of the bathroom by seven-o-three, By seven-ten he's downstairs drinking his tea. So put a shine on your shoes, Put on your pin-striped suit. Can't lose those early-morning-can't-stop-yawning, Push and shoving rush hour blues. Wife: Darling are you ready? You'll be late for the bus! Star: Don't rush me baby While I'm using my brush. Wife: Get a move on darling You're cutting it fine. Star: Cool it baby I've got plenty of time. So put a shine on your shoes Put on your pin-striped suit. Can't lose those early-morning-can't-stop-yawning Push and shoving rush hour blues. Soon I'll be just one of the commuters Waiting for the subway train. I'll be rushing up the stairs And in the elevator. By the time that I get there I'm gonna feel like a mole in the ground I'll be caught in the crush I'll be pushed and be shoved, And I'll be trying to get the subway train. I'll be fighting with my brief case And my umbrella, Every morning and every night. Some people do it every day of their lives. Wife: Read the paper later You'll be caught in the queues. Star: Don't rush me baby While I'm reading the news. Wife: Darling get a move on You're cutting it fine. Star: Cool it baby I've got plenty of time. A quick cup of coffee and a slice of Toast and the star (or should we say, Norman? ) is off to do battle with the Rush hour queues and traffic jams. In the rush hour queues No one gives a damn. No one knows where I'm going to No one knows who I am. I'm sitting in my office In the metropolis I'm just part of the scenery, I'm just part of the machinery. Chained to my desk on the 22nd floor, I can't break out through the automatic door, I'd jump out the window but I can't face the drop I'm sitting in a cage with an eye on the clock. I'm ready to start paying my dues, I've got to lose those early-morning-can't-stop-yawning, Push and shoving, rush hour blues. Well I'm ready to start paying my dues, I've got to lose those early-morning can't-stop-yawning, Push and shoving rush hour blues. |
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| Nine to Five | |
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| The star is in norman's office. his day Of sweat and toil has begun. Nine to five Answering phones and dictating letters Making decisions that affect no one. Stuck in the office from nine until five Life is so incredibly dull, Working from nine to five. Oh nine to five, nine to five, Working from nine to five. And time goes by The hours tick away. First seconds, Then minutes, Then hours into days. Each day, Each week, Seems just like any other. All work, No play, It's just another day. He's caught in a mass of computerised trivia, Deciphering data for mechanical minds. He's lost in the paperwork and up to his eyes, He's checking a list that's been checked out before And he's starting to lose his mind. Oh nine to five, nine to five, Working from nine to five. (repeat). |
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| When Work Is Over | |
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| When work is over he likes to hit the bars, And at the boozer we'll have another jar, Because drinking can help ease the strain Of his boring occupation, Dull conversation, Living by the book And the rules and regulations. Drinking helps us to forget what we are, We leave the office and walk straight to the bar. Don't stop to think, Have another drink! Drinking helps us to relax with the chaps, A double scotch and we forget where we're at. Don't stop to think Have another drink! When work is over he likes to hit the bars, Go down the boozer and have another jar, Because drinking can help ease the strain Of his boring occupation, Dull conversation, Living by the book And the rules and regulations. Boring occupations, Dull conversations, Living by the book And the rules and regulstions. Drinking helps us to forget what we are, We leave the office and walk straight to the bar, Don't stop to think, Have another drink. |
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| Have Another Drink | |
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| Has everybody got problems? Are you stuck in a deadend job? Frustrated and dissatisfied? Are you on the edge of suicide? Terrorist bombers on the left, Fascist plots on the right. Mass destruction and homicide, Are you horrified and terrified? Such a shame. We've all got problems we know, There's one thing that's for sure, There's only one cure for all your hangups and all your depressions. Have another drink it'll make you feel better, Have another drink and you'll feel alright. If you feel down and you're under the weather Have another drink and you'll feel alright. (repeat above four lines). Facts and figures. Filling out forms. Reading circulars. Dictating letters. Is your occupation Getting to your brain? Is there no relief? It's like a ball and chain. There's no need to get depressed, Worrying won't make it better. There's only one consolation I can recommend. Don't take my word for it, try it for yourself. Have another drink and you'll feel alright. Have another drink it'll make you feel better. Have another drink and you'll feel alright. Have another drink it'll make you feel better. Have another drink and you'll feel alright. If you're feeling down and you're under the weather, Have another drink and you'll feel alright. Have another drink it'll make you feel better, Have another drink and you'll feel alright. If you're feeling down and under the weather, Have another drink and you'll feel alright. |
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| Underneath the Neon Sign | |
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| Our hero leaves the pub his head still Swimming with alcohol, his head Buzzing with facts, figures and Computers. night is descending as he Wearily makes his way home through The traffic jams and neon lights of the Great metropolis. Underneath the neon sign All I see is imitation And there's no earth beneath my feet. There are no trees or fields in front of me Only slabs of concrete. Skyscrapers reaching up to the clouds, Don't give the moon a chance to shine, And I've got imitation moonlight Standing underneath the neon sign. Is it real or just illusion? Can there be a time when it's night? Is it merely my delusion Or my senses telling me lies. Is it just hallucination? Have I been drinking too much wine? I don't know if it's day or night, When I'm underneath the neon sign. Underneath the neon sign. Electronic nature made by man with robots in mind. Big city lights guide my way into the night, darkness shines When I'm standing underneath the neon sign. If there isn't any sunshine We'll some-day buy the neon sign And if we can't see any stars at night We'll sit and watch the traffic lights. If there isn't any day-time I've got an imitation dawn, I've got a simulated sunshine Standing underneath the neon sign. Is it an illusion? Have I been drinking too much wine? Can there be day-time when it's night Underneath the neon sign. Underneath the neon sign. Is it mother nature Playing tricks with my eyes For darkness shines When I'm standing underneath the neon sign. |
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| Holiday Romance | |
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| On the subway train he sees adverts For holidays in jamaica, a weekend in Rome, a cruise round the Mediterranean, and dreams of a quiet Week in a little seaside resort away From his wife, the ducks on the wall, The soap operas, the office and his Friends - and who knows, he might Encounter a holiday romance. Holiday romance I had a break for a week So I booked my seat And confirmed a reservation At a quiet little seaside hotel. I packed my bags And I caught my train and Reached my destination Just in time for the dinner gong--ding dong. Then I saw lavinia Standing at the bottom of the stairs. And I fell for lavinia The moment that I saw her standing there. Lavinia looked so divine As she walked up to the table to dine And then lavinia's eyes met mine. I thought can this be love, Can this be lovey-dove Or just a holiday romance? Can this be long lost love at last Or is it just a flash in the pan? Then after cheese and liqueurs they struck up the band, I plucked up my courage and I asked lavinia to dance That was the start of my holiday romance. Just a holiday romance. We did the foxtrot, samba and danced through the night The last waltz came and we held each other so tight. That was the start of my holiday romance. Just a holiday romance A simple holiday romance. I wonder should I take a chance? We walked on the beach, And we paddled our feet, And we watched all the swimmers, And my holiday treat felt complete. We drank lemonade, And we sat in the shade, I thought I must be on a winner And I acted cool and discreet. For I knew that lavinia Was the shyest lady that I'd ever met, And I knew that lavinia Would only be my lady for the week. It was just a holiday romance A simple holiday romance. I wonder should I take this chance? Just a holiday romance. Can this be love, Can this be lovey-dove Or just a holiday romance? I tried to kiss her, she walked away, She said better stop, my husband's Coming to collect me today. That was the end of my holiday, Sweet and innocent holiday, End of my holiday romance. |
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| You Make It All Worthwhile | |
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| He arrives home. he fumbles in his Pockets for his keys but there is no Need. andrea is waiting to greet him With open arms. Wife: Hello love. you look all worn out! Let me take your brief case. that's a Good boy. now you come and sit down Ouer here and relax and I'll make you A nice cuppa tea. then we'll have Dinner and we can sit and watch the Tele. by the way dear, how'd you get On at the office. You make it all worthwhile I mustn't stay in this job too long I gotta get out before the hold is too strong Gotta get out before my ambition is gone 'cos it's breaking me up and bringing me down. But when I get home you make it all worthwhile, You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day sorting out the files You make it all worthwhile. Wife: Oh, I've just remembered we've only got shepherd's pie, Do you like it? Star: No, I hate it. Wife: Hate it? but you see norman loves it so much and you did ask me to Act normally, didn't you. I mean I can't cope with all that Fancy stuff you like to eat. Star: Alright, I'll eat it and afterwards, I'll write a whole verse about Your cooking. You mustn't blame yourself like you do, It's gonna make a nervous wreck out of you, So wipe your nose and dry your eyes, What's the point of cracking up all because of shepherd's pie? Baby, you never know what I've been through. I break my back and sweat and slave To bring some money home to you. Baby, you won't believe it but it's true What a boring occupation can do, It can make a nervous wreck out of you, It can kill your spirit and destroy your mind. But when I get home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day sorting out the files You make it all worthwhile. Wife: Would you like steam pudding and custard for afters. Star: Darling, that would be marvellous. And when I come home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day working on the files You make it all worthwhile Star: Come on darling, let's go and have dinner. And when I come home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day working on the files You make it all worthwhile. |
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| Ducks on the Wall | |
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| After dinner norman becomes depressed. Star: Norman's office got on my nerves to-day. Wife: What do you mean? you are norman! Star: (shouts) I am a star! Wife: You're not a star norman. you're Just a plain ordinary little bloke and Even if you walked down the street in A silver suit people still wouldn't Recognise you. you're dull, ordinary And uninteresting! you're a drag! Star rises from his chair and smashes The dinner plates to the floor. Star: I hate this house and I hate you, but More than anything else I hate those Ducks! Wife: Don't you touch those ducks norman! They were a present from my mother. Look, norman, I've had enough of you And your ridiculous fantasies. first of All you wanted to be a painter, then You wanted to be an astronaut, then A footballer and now you're playing at Being a rock singer. if you touch those Ducks I'm leaving! Ducks on the wall My baby's got the most deplorable taste, But her biggest mistake Is hanging over the fireplace. She's got ducks, ducks on the wall, Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall. My lady's got a sort of strange fascination, An obsessive fixation For cheap decorations She's got ducks, ducks on the wall. Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall. Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she doesn't move the ducks, I think my mind is gonna go. Ducks ducks on the wall. Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall. I leave the office and I want to relax. Don't want to stare at a wall And look at a duck that can't quack. I love you baby but I can't fall For those ducks on the wall. I start to snuggle up and squeeze her so tight. Then out of the corner of my eye I see those ducks in flight. I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall. Wo-wo-wo I can sit through your gossip and your soap opera shows, But those ducks have got to go. I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall. And when I went to a cocktail party With the bores next door, What was the first thing that I saw? Ducks, ducks on the wall. Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall. My baby's got the most deplorable taste, But her biggest mistake Is hanging over the fireplace. She's got ducks, ducks on the wall, Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall. I'll sit and look at all the soap operas with her I'll play all the panel games and watch all the quiz shows, But those ducks they've got to go, Those ducks are getting up my nose. If those ducks can fly, well so can i. And if those ducks have got to stay Then I'm going to fly away. I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall. Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall. Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall. Oh those ducks on the wall are beginning to move They're talking to me I've got to get away from those ducks. |
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| You Can't Stop the Music | |
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| And so norman decides to stop living Out his fantasy of being a rock star and Accept reality. this is the end for Norman but not for us because there Will always be someone ready to take His place -- after all, euerybody's a Star! You can't stop the music Let's all raise a glass To the rock stars of the past, Those that made it, Those that faded, Those that never even made the grade, Those that we thought would never last. Singers come and go, And stars fade away. They vanish in the haze And they're never seen again, But the music just keeps playing on. They can't stop the music, They can't stop the music, They can't stop the music playing on. I've been half a million places, I've seen half a million people who stare, I've been a star and down and out, I've been put on, sat on, punched and spat on, They've called me a faggot, a spiv and a fake, They can knock me down and tread on my face, They can't stop the music playing on. Let's all raise a glass To the rock stars of the past, Those that made it, Those that faded, Those that never even made the grade, Those that we thought would never last. Singers come and go, And stars fade away. They vanish in the haze And they're never seen again, But they can't stop the music playing on. |
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| You Make It All Worthwhile (live) | |
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| He arrives home. he fumbles in his Pockets for his keys but there is no Need. andrea is waiting to greet him With open arms. Wife: Hello love. you look all worn out! Let me take your brief case. that's a Good boy. now you come and sit down Ouer here and relax and I'll make you A nice cuppa tea. then we'll have Dinner and we can sit and watch the Tele. by the way dear, how'd you get On at the office. You make it all worthwhile I mustn't stay in this job too long I gotta get out before the hold is too strong Gotta get out before my ambition is gone 'cos it's breaking me up and bringing me down. But when I get home you make it all worthwhile, You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day sorting out the files You make it all worthwhile. Wife: Oh, I've just remembered we've only got shepherd's pie, Do you like it? Star: No, I hate it. Wife: Hate it? but you see norman loves it so much and you did ask me to Act normally, didn't you. I mean I can't cope with all that Fancy stuff you like to eat. Star: Alright, I'll eat it and afterwards, I'll write a whole verse about Your cooking. You mustn't blame yourself like you do, It's gonna make a nervous wreck out of you, So wipe your nose and dry your eyes, What's the point of cracking up all because of shepherd's pie? Baby, you never know what I've been through. I break my back and sweat and slave To bring some money home to you. Baby, you won't believe it but it's true What a boring occupation can do, It can make a nervous wreck out of you, It can kill your spirit and destroy your mind. But when I get home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day sorting out the files You make it all worthwhile. Wife: Would you like steam pudding and custard for afters. Star: Darling, that would be marvellous. And when I come home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day working on the files You make it all worthwhile Star: Come on darling, let's go and have dinner. And when I come home you make it all worthwhile. You make me laugh and you make me smile And after a hard day working on the files You make it all worthwhile. |
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| Underneath the Neon Sign (live) | |
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| Our hero leaves the pub his head still Swimming with alcohol, his head Buzzing with facts, figures and Computers. night is descending as he Wearily makes his way home through The traffic jams and neon lights of the Great metropolis. Underneath the neon sign All I see is imitation And there's no earth beneath my feet. There are no trees or fields in front of me Only slabs of concrete. Skyscrapers reaching up to the clouds, Don't give the moon a chance to shine, And I've got imitation moonlight Standing underneath the neon sign. Is it real or just illusion? Can there be a time when it's night? Is it merely my delusion Or my senses telling me lies. Is it just hallucination? Have I been drinking too much wine? I don't know if it's day or night, When I'm underneath the neon sign. Underneath the neon sign. Electronic nature made by man with robots in mind. Big city lights guide my way into the night, darkness shines When I'm standing underneath the neon sign. If there isn't any sunshine We'll some-day buy the neon sign And if we can't see any stars at night We'll sit and watch the traffic lights. If there isn't any day-time I've got an imitation dawn, I've got a simulated sunshine Standing underneath the neon sign. Is it an illusion? Have I been drinking too much wine? Can there be day-time when it's night Underneath the neon sign. Underneath the neon sign. Is it mother nature Playing tricks with my eyes For darkness shines When I'm standing underneath the neon sign. |
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