Shoulder of Pork and hAM (c'est une marque déposée à l'origine).
Parfois traduit comme : « balancer le contenu d'une boîte de corned-beef dans les pales d'un ventilateur ». C'est ce que font ceux qui envoient du courrier d'auto-promotion à des
milliers de gens à travers l'Internet. C'est aussi ce que font ceux qui envoient n fois le même message dans n newsgroups ou à n destinataires, pour se faire de la publicité. C'est surtout le meilleur moyen de recevoir des milliers de réponses sous
forme de flames, et de générer d'innombrables plaintes. Jeff Slaton fut honi de nombre de netsurfers : il s'était constitué un
annuaire de millions d'adresses électronique qu'il vendait quelques centaines de dollars aux entreprises désirant envoyer de la pub à tout le monde pour pas cher. Voir aussi spamdexing, Spamford, UBE, UCE. VF proposée : pourriel.
Un spam est dit « alphabétique » quand il vise tous les groupes de l'Usenet, dans l'ordre. Un spam est
« horizontal » quand il vise de nombreux groupes, par opposition au spam « vertical » qui vise un seul groupe mais en l'inondant de messages.
Cette technique de marketing non ciblée est aussi appelée le spamming et est pratiquée par les
L'idée d'utiliser ce terme pour décrire ce phénomène provient d'un sketch des Monty Pythons dans lequel un groupe de Viking, dans un café, répétait ad libitum et ad nauseam « spam,
spam,pam » chaque fois qu'ils entendaient ce mot...
(A perfectly ordinary pet shop. A tall customer in a hideous top-buttoned pacamac, bird cage [and bird] in hand, enters. This is Mr. Praline.)
Mr. Praline : 'Ello. I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner has his back to the register and does not respond.)
Mr. Praline : 'Ello, Miss?
Owner : (turning around, very angry) What do you mean, "miss"?
Mr. Praline : I'm sorry, I have a cold.
(The owner nods, understanding.)
Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint!
Owner : (hurriedly) Sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!
Mr. Praline : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this
very boutique.
Owner : Oh yes, the, ah, the Norwegian Blue... What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.
Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Mr. Praline : The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead!
Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline : All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Polly! Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you wake up, Mr. Polly Parrot...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner : There, he moved!
Mr. Praline : No, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!
Owner : I never!!
Mr. Praline : Yes, you did!
Owner : I never, never....
(He pulls the parrot out of the cage and screams into its ear.) Mr. Praline : 'ELLO POLLAAAAAAAY! POLL-EE! POLLY PARROT! WAKE UP!
(He bangs its head against the store counter, horribly hard.)
TESTIIIING! TESTIIIING! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O' CLOCK ALARM CALL!
(He does it again, harder.)
POLL-EEEEEEE!
(He tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. Longish pause.)
Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner : No, no.... No, he's stunned.
Mr. Praline : STUNNED?
Owner : Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I
bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Owner : Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.
(Praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)
Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the
moment I got 'im home?
Owner : The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable bird, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely
plumage!
Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the
liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED
there.
(pause)
Owner : Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to
those bars, bent 'em apart with its little pecker, and VOOM!
Mr. Praline : "VOOM?"
(Praline puts the cage down and take the parrot into his hands.)
Mr. Praline : Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! It's
bleedin' demised!
Owner : It's not! I-It's pining!
Mr. Praline : It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's
expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he
would be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil!
It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!
(pause)
Owner : Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(He disappears behind the counter.)
Mr. Praline : (turning to camera) If
you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain 'til you're blue in the mouth.
(The owner returns.)
Owner : Sorry guv, we're fresh out of parrots.
Mr. Praline : I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner : (quietly) I-I've got a
slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline : (sweet as sugar) Does it talk?
Owner : Not really, no.
Mr. Praline : Well, it's SCARCELY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT then, IS IT?
Owner : Listen, I'll tell you what, tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton,
he'll replace your parrot for you.
Mr. Praline : Bolton, eh?
Owner : Yeah.
Mr. Praline : All right.
(He leaves.)
(CAPTION: "A SIMILAR PET SHOP IN BOLTON, LANCASHIRE")
(The customer enters a very similar pet shop, with a sign on the front reading "Similar Pet Shops, Ltd." The owner,
who looks similar to his brother, is putting on a large false moustache in order to better distinguish himself from his brother. Which he isn't. Praline
looks about and finds it to be very similar indeed. And when he finds his same bird cage, with the same dead bird inside, that just about clinches
it.)
Mr. Praline : Uh, excuse me, this is Bolton, is it?
Owner : (with the fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.
Mr. Praline : (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.
(Mr Praline goes to the train station. He addresses a man standing behind a desk
marked "Complaints.")
Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint.
Attendant : I don't have to do this, you know!
Mr. Praline : I beg your pardon...?
Attendant : I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this 'cause I like being my own
boss!
Mr. Praline : Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?
Attendant : Oh yeah, well, most transcripts woulda stopped at the slug line.
Mr. Praline : Leave it to PythoNET, eh?
Attendant : Yeah, yeah.
Mr. Praline : Well, I wish to complain! I got on the Bolton train and found myself
deposited here in Ipswitch.
Attendant : No, this is Bolton.
Mr. Praline : (to the camera) The pet shop owner's brother was lying!
Attendant : Well, you can't blame British Rail for that.
Mr. Praline : If this is Bolton, I shall return to the pet shop!
(Zoom in on the bewildered attendant. Mr. Praline returns to the pet
shop.)
(CAPTION: "A LITTLE WHILE LATER LIMITED")
Mr. Praline : I understand that this IS Bolton.
Owner : (still with the fake mustache)
Yeah?
Mr. Praline : But you told me it was Ipswitch!
Owner : (a bit meekly) It was a pun.
Mr. Praline : A pun??
Owner : No, no ... not a pun ... What's the other thing where it reads the same
backwards as forwards?
(longish pause)
Mr. Praline : A palindrome...?
Owner : Yeah, yeah.
Mr. Praline : It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be
"Notlob!" It don't work!!
Owner : Well, what do you want?
Mr. Praline : No, I'm sorry! I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any
longer as I think this is getting too silly!
Owner : Silly, sir?
Mr. Praline : And take off that moustache!
Owner : (taking off moustache) Silly, sir?
Mr. Praline : Yes, silly! I've come in here with a perfectly legitimate
complaint and you have done everything in your power to turn my afternoon into a comedy of errors! This, therefore, is silly!
(He slams his parrot down on the counter to illustrate the
point.)
Owner : Y-yeah. Silly. (gets ashamed, looks
at his feet)
Mr. Praline : Well.
(Excruciatingly long pause.)
Owner : (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
(Pause.)
Mr. Praline : Yeah, all
right.
(They leave quickly, arm in arm.)
I'm a lumberjack
And I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
(He's a lumberjack
And he's ok
He sleeps all night and he works all day)
I cut down trees
I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatry'
On Wednesdays I go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea
(He cuts down trees
He eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatry'
On Wednesdays He goes shopping
and has buttered scones for tea
I cut down trees)
I'm a lumberjack
And I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees
I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on womens' clothing and hang around in bars
(He cuts down trees
He skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on womens' clothing and hang around in bars?)
I'm a lumberjack
And I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees
I wear high heels
Suspendies' and a bra
I wish I'd been a girly
Just like my dear pa-pa
(He cuts down trees
He wears high heels?)
(He's a lumberjack
And he's ok
He sleeps all night and he works all day)(x2)
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