Les classiques de l'Humour : "The Ying Tong Song" The Goon

The Ying Tong Song

[orchestral intro]

Tenor: There's a song that I recall
My mother sang to me.
Spriggs [off]: Oh! [a sigh]
Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in
When I was ninety-three.

[harp plays a rising chord...]

Spriggs: Hi diddle, hi. Who was that bum?

Bluebottle & Spriggs:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong [Bluebottle drops behind]
Ying tong iddle I po.
Spriggs: Keep up, lad. Keep.
Bluebottle: Keep up, lad up.

Both: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po-
Spriggs: -lad,
Both: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po [lad],
Iddle I po [lad].

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong (Spriggs: iddle) (Bluebottle: ying tong)
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong iddle-

Bluebottle [spoken]:
Ying tong iddle I po!
[short raspberry]

Both: Oh!
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Iddle I po!

[trumpet bit]

Bluebottle: Ying. Ying tongy tongy.
Ying tong iddle I po.
Ying tong iddle I po.
(Seagoon: What a lovely, lovely boy!)
Ying, ying, ying tongy tongy.
(Milligan: Get out the rifle, sir.)
Yeeeng.
Ying tong ying tong d'gy-n'o.
Ying tong d'ga.
(Seagoon: Get away.)
D'g d'g d'ga.
Ying tong iddle I po.

Seagoon: Hear that crazy rhythm,
Driving me insane.
Strike your partner on the bonce. [thump]

Eccles: Ooh. I felt no pain. [Seagoon screeches]

Seagoon, Bluebottle & Eccles:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying...

[harp chord rises]

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna...

[raspberry section]

Bloodnok: Ohhh!
Eccles: Oh!

[harp chord]

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the... [crash]

Spriggs & Bluebottle [far off]:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po.

[mad dash to foreground]

Spriggs & Bluebottle: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
(Spriggs: Where's Seagoon, lad?)
(Bluebottle: I don't know.)
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po.

Seagoon: Left, right!

[mad dash to distance]

Spriggs & Bluebottle [hastily]:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po.

[dash to foreground]

Ying tong...

[whine of bomb dropping, explosion]

Double speed, but same tempo, Goons:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Iddle I po.

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Iddle I po.

One: Ying! Tongy tongy tongy.
Yiddy diddy diddy da daaa, ying diddy.
Ying tong diddle, yiddada boo.
[rhythmic tap-dancing, raspberry]

All: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle,
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Iddle I po.

One: Ohwooh!